"You better hurry up and get a man. You're not getting any younger. Pretty soon, you're going to be too old."
Meaning what, exactly? That old people can't find love? I'm only thirty-seven. What's the rush?
Or that I should just settle for any man who'll take me...
Because I'm damaged goods? Because I won't be happy without a man? Because I should start seeing things the way everybody around me sees them?
Life's not worth living unless you have a significant other?
I remember what it's like to have a lover and to not actually be inlove. To enjoy one another...to an extent.
(I love ya baby, but you're stinkin' up my bathroom...)
Should I settle for...((shudder))...mediocrity?
And, not to be making excuses for myself, but it's been hard for me to attract a man my own age who doesn't come off as somewhat of a pedophile. Even one of my lovers, J.T. who is just four months younger than I am, told me once that he feels like a pervert every time he looks at me. And I've known him since I was fourteen!
Alot of people have told me over the years that I'm so lucky to look so young, and when I get older, I"ll feel like it's a blessing. But they don't understand that I actually AM older, and still feel CURSED.
And anyway, this plea for my union with a man comes from a self-centered source for a selfish reason. The Meatheads have decided that I'll be in a lot better mood once I'm getting laid pretty regular. And then I'll treat them better.
So I guess I'll try to improve my attitude on the job.
It'll probably work in my favor to do so, because I have a crush on someone in one of the other departments. And I've heard that a smile makes you more attractive.