Showing posts with label Walmart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Walmart. Show all posts

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Fun Fact: The Elbow is an Awesome Weapon

There I was at Walmart again.

I truly hate shopping at Walmart, especially on a Friday, but by the time I decided to get out and get my shopping done, it was eleven o'clock at night, and Target was closed. I needed hem-tape and ink pens, so...Walmart, yippee.

So I went to Walmart on a chilly night, when there doesn't seem to be any kind of strict observation of bedtime. For once, I thought I might try to get a parking spot close to the door, so I started to drive right in front of the store, where the flock of shoppers pour from the doors and make thru-traffic practically impossible. I don't know what I was thinking.

I was commiserating my mistake, when the guy in the car two cars ahead of me abruptly stopped his car and jumped out.

What the HELL? Was he about to run into the store with his car parked right in the middle of the driving lane while the rest of us were trapped there by the stampede of pedestrians and the lack of a tow truck?

But no. He did not go toward the store. Instead, he ran toward a little girl, about five years old, who had lagged behind her family as they made their way toward their car.

He scooped her up!

Right there in front of me, I was witnessing a kidnapping, folks! I jumped out of my car, not really knowing what I would do. The woman in the car directly in front of me was also ready for action. She popped out of her car, and we were about to save that little family from the most frightening thing I could ever imagine.

The adrenaline was pumping through me so quickly, but time seemed to slow right down, to a dull swoosh. I imagine myself making use of all those self-defense lessons I'd taken back when I left the kids' dad. I sized the guy up as I moved forward.

In my mind, I was sweeping the leg, jabbing the eyes, pulling the hair, using the elbow...

The squealing laughter is what stopped me.

The little girl...she was laughing, and when the family turned around saw the perpetrator trying to steal their little girl, they too, began to squeal with laughter and happiness.

They'd found their grandpa.

Or, rather, Grandpa had found them.

It really was quite touching. They hugged and laughed and held a genuine reunion right there in the middle of the Walmart parking lot.

I returned calmly to my car. The woman in front of me, my would-be co-hero, gave me a nod and a smile as she returned to her car. We connected in that moment. Should we ever find ourselves in a situation like that again, we'd have each others' backs.

Kidnappers beware.



For another Walmart experience, visit my friend Juli's blog Surviving Boys here.


Friday, January 6, 2012

Spontaneity. It's a Problem.

I was having writer's block this morning, so I decided it was time for me to take a shower, deodorize, fix my hair and go out into the "real world" where people can view one another in the flesh. They can either smile and wave at one another, or they can scowl and pretend to ignore one another, depending on their moods. I tend to smile most of the time, as long as I'm nowhere near my job.

Going to the park or the zoo is not really a option for me. I have horrible outdoor allergies. I would have to take a heavy dose of allergy meds either before or after my adventures in the sun, which, let's face it, is not a cure for writer's block at all. I have to find a nice place indoors to roam.

The only problem around here, is that there's really no interesting place to go that I haven't been to a million times before, so I ended up at Walmart with the rest of society's rejects. The only thing I can say for myself is that I didn't wear my jammies and slippers. Other than that one small difference, I appeared to roam aimlessly around the store just like all the other mindless zombies I saw there, filling my cart full of things I probably could have lived without.

I remembered I needed to pick up some putty I saw on TV to repair the leak in the rain gutter that causes rain and melted snow to pour directly onto anyone attempting to knock on my front door. (No, I didn't intend for it to do that. I think the house might be adjusting to my personality and shunning all humanity on my behalf.)

The putty was $3.97. The allergen-blocking heater filter was $8.88. The acai-berry-detox pills were $9.97. The avocado/oatmeal face mask was $1.27. The LED key chain flashlight was $4.97.

Need I go on?

Thank goodness, I stopped myself before I made it to the electronics. I might have ended up with a brand new forty-two inch flat-screen TV and a PS3.

The next time I have writer's block, I believe I'll turn off my computer and curl up with a good book. It's free and I won't have to smile at anybody.

I might even wear my jammies.
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