Showing posts with label wind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wind. Show all posts

Sunday, October 22, 2023

A dream: In the Waking Hours I Know My Name is Nessa

 My name is gone from my mind. I had it before I came here, but now that I need it, it seems to have fallen away -- like a dead leaf from a hibernating tree. 'Tis the season of forgetfulness.

Forgetful-ness. Forgetful Ness. There's something so familiar about that, but I can't recall what it should be.

I'm staring at this stranger who's staring right back at me, expectantly. I mumble something, but even I do not understand what I mean to say. She cocks her head, raises an eyebrow, and leans in as if the inches between us are causing the confusion. 

The cold wind blows. More memories fall away. I can almost see them, just for a few seconds, flitting away, tumbling across my timeline, dissipating into the emptiness. Flames flickering into ash.

Shit.

Well, at least that word is clear in my head. I haven't forgotten language altogether. I try to say it to my curious reflection, but she, too, has evaporated. 

This is worrisome. I lift my hands and stare at my fingers. They seem resolute. I wiggle them. I feel them. I am not fading away like everything else around here. I am solid and strong and loud and bold.

The freezing gusts slice into me like blades of ice. I stand against it. I turn to face it, and even though it takes all my strength to find my voice and bring it into my throat, I howl my name into the mighty darkness. 

The sound brings light and the light brings color and the color ripples through the memories, through the leaves of my life, printing words on every page and singing every song. 

I inhale light. I exhale warmth.

I know who I am now. I am Olivia, Forgetter of Names.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Five minutes earlier...


One glance out the window had me straying outdoors to take in the bold view of the western sky. The afternoon sun cast an ethereal glow across every surface, slipping over puddles and crawling up fences. The varying greens and yellows of trees and grass seemed enhanced and alive. Surreal.
I stepped back into the house just long enough to grab my camera for a quick snapshot of this unbelievably cartoon-like world, but by the time I returned the sky had deepened to a cold slate blue. The clouds upon clouds raced one another across the expanse. Gusts of chilled wind blew me backward, perhaps in warning, but I persevered to the end of my driveway.
The black silhouettes of three small birds above me caught my eye. Their little wings flapped with such intensity against the force of the wind, but they remained stationary. Eventually they gave in and swooped sideways and then back around to return to some safe, dry place nowhere near their intended destination.
The white cracks of lightning and simultaneous rumble of thunder reverberated just under my skin. Something omniscient hovered over me in the form of a darkened raincloud. I looked to the sky and thought of demons.
Whether or not they were there, whether or not they intended to have me for a light afternoon snack, I did not know, nor was I about to stick around to find out. I headed straight for the house, calmly, so as not to attract their attention. Strong, insistent gusts pushed me over the threshold. As soon as I slammed the door, they began knocking on the other side.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Or maybe it was just an ordinary, violent, summer storm.

Friday, May 31, 2013

There Was a Paint Sale, So I Painted.

 Just the Wind, acrylic 24" x 36"



 Not My Mama's Evening Gown, acrylic 12" x 16"



 Show and Tell, acrylic on paper 9" x 12"


Smoke and Kisses, acrylic 24" x 48"

That last one has a poem floating around in the smoke cloud. I wrote it in 1999, so obviously, it is romantic, sad drivel.

Here it is. Keep in mind, I was still in my twenties, and full of ridiculousness.

Nothing Less
(a silly poem by a silly girl)


Hold my hand as we watch TV
And tell me that you're fond of me
Stay long enough for a little bit more
And kiss me before you walk out the door

Tell me I'm pretty and tell me I'm smart
Admire my poems and eleventh grade art.
Touch me in places I long to be touched
Give me any reason to like it so much

Talk about times we used to know
Make me laugh and carry on so
Laugh at me falling down drunk on the floor
And kiss me before you walk out the door

Make me feel happy to answer your knock
Tho as soon as you get here, you're watching the clock
Fill my heart with a joy that I've never known
Spend a little time here, then I'm left alone

Whisper sweet nothings into my ear
I'll smile and giggle and hold back a tear.
I'll take nothing less and ask for no more
But kiss me before you walk out my door.


copyright Nessa Locke 1999

Saturday, February 25, 2012

I have to go to work again tomorrow.

I spoil myself to those delicious liquid coffee creamers International Delight makes nowadays. At any given point in time, you can find amaretto, vanilla caramel, white chocolate raspberry (my favorite) or hazelnut lining my refrigerator door.
Except for this given point in time.
No creamer to be found anywhere in the fridge.
What's a girl to do?
I can't go to the store. The store is outside where we keep the wind, and the West Texas wind is a fierce bitch today. Just thinking about the dust swirling around is causing my eyes to itch, my nose to twitch and my sinuses to swell.
There's a noticeable shortage of teenagers to boss around these days, so nobody is here to take my money, or car keys, or orders. I curse myself for not remembering to grocery shop before I left work today. You'd think I'd remember what with all the groceries we sell there.
Milk? gone with the mini-wheats.
Evaporated milk? used it to make Christmas fudge.
Cool Whip? Have I ever had Cool Whip for more than an hour?
After desperately rummaging around in the cabinets for a few minutes, I emerge triumphant with a small container of powdered coffee creamer I must have bought in some other life. I don't know why I kept it, but I'm happy I did, because I was seriously thinking about risking certain death-by-allergy and running to the grocery store. It's not a special flavor, like mocha fudge praline swirl. It's just plain ol' non-dairy coffee creamer, but I sort of feel like I've won the lottery.

DIRECTIONS:
Spoon 1 teaspoon into cup of prepared coffee, tea or cocoa. Add more for larger cup or mug, to taste. No need to add sugar.

No need to add sugar?

LIARS!

So...who has a cup of sugar I can borrow?