Thursday, December 2, 2010

Bugs in the Brew

An annoying thing happened to me this morning.
I overestimated the amount of coffee grounds I can scoop into the basket.
So naturally, when the basket filled with hot water, the grounds rose to the top of the filter and spilled over. A few lucky ones escaped out the little round hole at the bottom of the basket and landed in the big glass decanter, all unbeknownst to me. 
I cannot wait long for the first cup.
I must have it NOW!
I secretly wish that you could absorb caffeine into your system simply by standing over the coffeepot and inhaling the aroma.
But that doesn't work.
You have to drink it.
So I sneak a cup right away, not allowing those pesky little coffee grounds to settle to the bottom of the pot.
And then I pour my fancy shmancy Amaretto creamer which has been on manager's special for $1.79 for about three months now, into my heavenly nectar.
And then I stir.

It is so disappointing to see the tiny little black grounds swirling around the top of my brew like little bugs enjoying a nice swim.
I want them out of there, but I can't catch the slippery little suckers on my spoon.
I try with the tips of my fingers, but no success.
I pour out a little of the coffee, hoping the black little buggers leap over the rim into the sink, but it seems they enjoy the mug. They swim to the back of the rim, refusing to leave the warmth of my morning java.
I can almost hear them conspiring with one another...against me.
Dare I declare WAR?


This is War.

Get out of my coffee, you gross little bugs!

I scoop again with my spoon the three of them that I can see and with a loud "HA!" I practically slam them into the sink!
I win!!! I win!!!

And it wasn't even HARD!
Those coffee grounds got nothing on me...

And then three more rose to the surface.
I blink twice and look again disbelievingly
.(Are they mating and reproducing in there?)

So I decide to use the corner of a thick paper towel to capture the remaining critters. These particular ones have no trouble crawling right onto my extra absorbant Viva Big Roll towel.
I have accomplished bug-free brew.
I am very proud.
I drink the entire mug with a smile on my face and a smug sense of victory.
It is a very good cup of coffee.
Probably the best I've ever had.

Until the last sip, that is.
It was then that I realized that, yes, they were mating and reproducing in there. They must have been, because there were about forty or fifty more coffee grounds in the bottom of the cup, jeering and mocking me with their tiny little buggy voices.

So today, I am going to go to the Chocolate Shoppe.
They sell chocolate covered coffee beans in clear cellophane bags with a pretty little bow on top.
I'm going to set my bag right next to the coffee can.

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