(self destruction)

I have long held the opinion that I am ruled by  six primary counter-intuitive desires.

I want to save the world.

I want to destroy the world.

I want to conquer the world.

I want to be consumed by the world.

I want to be included in the world.

I want to abandon the world.

These seem like conflicting and lonely fantasies. Though I may often be conflicted,  I am not lonely.
And I realize at any given point in time, I could remove "the world" and replace it with something a bit less lonely.
Practically anything else as unattainable as the world.

love
money
time
literature
happiness
alaska
myself
or
you