I had
hostile neighbors last year, which is almost an unbelievable fact, because they
also had an incessant practice of filling up the entire duplex with marijuana
smoke. I often thought to myself, how much more hostile might they be if they hadn’t
embraced that particular habit? Isn’t it supposed to calm a person down?
Personally, I don’t care what they smoke, but I am
allergic to marijuana, so I became rather aggravated by the constant two a.m.
struggle to rid my side of the duplex of the thick cloud that would waft
through whatever duct system existed there. They couldn’t have known that I was in danger of actually dying from
their lifestyle choices, but I often translated it to a personal assault on my lifestyle choice—specifically the
lifestyle choice I had made to continue being alive as long as possible.
I never
approached them about my problem. They had already reacted badly when I asked
them to move their vehicles away from my garage, and one time, the postal
carrier put their mail in my box by accident. When I tried to knock on their
door to give it to them, they threatened to have me kicked out for trespassing.
This was their mindset, so I never spoke to them about my very real issue with
their pot-smoking habits, even though it is still illegal in Texas.
Instead,
I bought a little house very far away from them. It’s adorable. Or, if you want
to use the words my real estate agent used, it’s “totes adorbs.” Two bedrooms,
one bath, washer dryer hook-ups, garage, fenced yard, nice neighbors. I like
it. I low-balled my offer, and the owner accepted it, no negotiation at all, on
my birthday in July. I moved in on August twelfth, and the plumbing started
acting up ten days later. No worries, though. My super smart real estate agent
signed me up with a home warranty, and all my plumbing issues are slowing being
resolved. It’s an old house. It’s going to take time. The washer is draining
and backing up into the bathtub as I type this, but there’s not a pot cloud in
sight.
The funny thing is, during the time it took to get all
the paperwork and inspections done so I could get away from the old neighbors,
they up and moved away from me. They took their five cars, their four dogs,
their two teenaged boys, and all their pot with them. They didn’t even say
goodbye. Go figure.
The landlord grumbled a little about the mess they left
behind, but he was happy for me when he heard I was buying a house. I left my
side of the duplex nice and clean and got my entire deposit back.
I’m a good
neighbor like that.
