Tuesday, September 17, 2013

One Table Over: I-HOP

He has his food. He has his food, and he's almost finished eating. That is how long he's had his food.

I got here first, but he got a waitress before I got a waitress. He got his drink
and his food, and, now that I'm looking, he's gotten his check as well!

I got a cup of coffee.

I ordered some chicken strips, but I haven't seen them. Neither have I seen the perky blond waitress who took my order.

My menu is still sitting on the edge of the table awaiting removal.

I've checked Facebook and Blogger and started browsing Pinterest, and he's over there trying to decide how much tip to leave.

Do you know what they do at I-HOP? They leave a thermal pitcher full of coffee at your table just in case you drain your cup before you see your waitress again. I've had three cups of coffee.

Oh, yippee. There's my waitress. She's coming up the aisle. She sees me looking, but she avoids my eyes. And there she goes...

He's gone. His table has been cleared and wiped and reseated.

Ah...here she is! With a plate of...(drum roll, please)...somebody else's food! Oh, honey, that's not mine. I ordered chicken strips. (You did?) uh huh...

The new folks over there are passing the time telling lame jokes as they nibble their appetizer.

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

Hahaha! Hilarious.

How does a man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!

Wait. I got one.

Where does a one-legged man work?


(I crack me up.)


  1. I spent many a night in I-Hop back when I was a philosophy and theology student. My friends and I said we were the Cliff Fan Club. It's true. This takes me back.

    1. Ah yes. I remember Cliff. Kinda makes me wanna sing that song.

  2. Poor service is SUCH a drag.

    And I'd never heard that one about the three-legged dog. :-) Can't wait to tell it!


    1. Be sure to use that saloon accent (though I can't even read it without doing it in my head).

  3. I had to google I-HOP. Never been there, and not sure if I will ... >:)

    Cold As Heaven

    1. I'll be going back, just because they're open 24/7, and they'll let you sit there forever. (You'll probably starve, but they won't kick you out.)

  4. I've taken to packing a deck of cards in my purse at all times. We break them out before the drinks even hit the table. It seems to mask the time it takes to get the food for the kids... and I seem to get in an adult conversation in the process.

    I never eat at IHOP.... for the same reason that you have mentioned here.

    1. One of my son's is a server at I-HOP, but he's not the one who was serving me that night. If it had been him, I would have dragged him home by his ear and mad him stand in the corner so he could thin about what he'd done.

    2. I typed that comment before my first cup of coffee. Please forgive me.

  5. Obsessing over variations in service between THIS table and THAT one is among my favorite pastimes.

    I must look like a lousy tipper.

    1. You know what's really funny? I never got a check! I ended up just leaving a ten dollar bill on the table, and I have no idea if it was enough to pay for the meal!