Monday, December 5, 2011

111 Words. 172 Stories

Yesterday, as I was diligently searching through the follicles on my head, I thought of one hundred seventy two macabre stories to tell you about vanity and my long term love affair with the Guardian of the Fountain of Youth.
Coincidentally, I plucked exactly one hundred seventy two gray hairs from my scalp, and there went the ideas, into the trash, along with my fantasies of an eternally wrinkle free appearance.
(Damn those grandkids.)
All hope is not lost, however, as I was carded at the Walmart on I-27 and Georgia for a Sharpie.
Apparently, you have to be at least eighteen before you can be trusted not to sniff them.


  1. Oh dear, the grey hairs! I've had a few for ages but don't worry too much. As a man, I'd rather a bit of silver than go bald. It's different for women though. How about changing your colour?

  2. My father's hair was completely white by the time he was thirty. I have a cobweb of gray going at thirty-nine. The other day, I saw a woman with long gray hair and thought she was kind of hot, but koo-koo ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson.

    Eighteen to buy a sharpie?!? Really. These are indeed the end times...

  3. Don´t worry too much Nessa - If it´s any consolation to you, which I very much doubt, I´d struggle to find 172 brown ones :)

  4. really??? can you sniff a sharpie??? i am so going to get myself one as soon as the newsagent opens...oh yeah, i missed the usual...
    you ripped out 172 Grey hairs and then stopped at a place on 1 27 and GeorGia? See the connection?? Coincidence....or not???
    ugh...i dunno where i was going with that one..just..oh doesnt matter

  5. I especaily love when I get carded for cough syrup. And then have to go through the lines at least three times so I can secure each of the different medicines my family needs.

    Good times. Good times.

  6. What's a sharpie? Didn't find it in my dictionary >:)

    Cold As Heaven

  7. Dicky- I will probably never dye my hair again. It seems like a high-maintenance gal kinda thing to do, and I can't even be bothered to put on make up every day.

    Robbie- Are you familiar with the term GILF? (I've been called one. I'm not sure if it's a compliment at all.)

    Starlight- thanks.

    Joe-well, that does make me feel a tiny bit better.

    Dan-You can sniff a number of things you'll find at the newsstand.

    Julianna- I know what you mean. You practically have to past a background check just to buy Sudafed!

    Cold- It's the brand name for a permanent marker that has a horrible smell that makes you dizzy. Kids will often confuse this with the feeling of being "high."

  8. i'm with joe here, i dunno if i have 172 non-gray ones left. :(