Wednesday, May 18, 2011

One thing I know for sure, I shouldn't be left "In Charge" of anything.

Too bad though, because now I am.

I am Overlord. Id gave me power.

(check it out. hehehe.)


It's sooo pretty...
(no touching!)

You may now bow to my whim.

Now straighten up.

Now bow AGAIN...


good dog.


As you may well know, all power comes with the burden of responsibilty. My burden in accepting this hastily thrown power is to create new laws. That is correct. I am overlord!

You will obey.

FIRST new LAW:

T-shirts for everyone. Across the chest of your T-shirt, you will advertise in BOLD LETTERS, the one thing about you that is most likely to annoy me or possibly piss me off.
For example: Do you drive down residential streets with your bass turned up, inflicting your bad taste in vibrating music on all those around you? Your T-shirt will read "BASS ASS".
Do you plan to call me in the middle of dinner or an hour after bedtime? "PHONE JERK".
Can't pronounce my name, and don't want to take the time to learn how? "NAME SHAME".
Everybody will wear BLUE T-shirts. My favorite color.

SECOND new LAW:

Because it is summertime, those people who are lucky enough to own lawn mowers will mow a neighbor's lawn at least twice this season. I don't care which neighbor. It could be the hot, single mom with the SUV or it could be the guy on the corner selling smoke, or it could be the cranky old lady with the two yippy dogs. Pick a lawn. Mow it. Move on. No, you do not win a prize. Generosity is its own reward.

THIRD new LAW:

Suicide bombers. Give it a rest already. Selfish Jerks.


And NOW, the burden of passing the crown.
Gosh, if she hadn't given it to me, I would give it to id .
And nobody else wants this weight on their shoulders.....
What to do, what to do....
I suppose I could really piss off the Misfit Mommy . She's terribly busy starting TWO new businesses while still running the first one. She really knows how to be in charge. She'd be a GREAT Overlord.

Or I could have given it to my Wiccan Friend just to see what she'd come up with, but she recently deleted here ENTIRE blog! (Can you just imagine? the horror!)

FOURTH new LAW:

No blog deleting. It makes me sad.

7 comments:

  1. hahaha, you had me laughing through this whole post! you would be a most excellent overlord!!
    i think my blue t-shirt would read 'perfume scoffer' or 'stinky girl', or something like that.

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  2. id- if that's the worst you could do, I probably wouldn't throw you to the curb. Not right away...

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  3. A great post and a well deserved award. I loved the laws and tried hard not to snort coffee over the laptop when reading. And you've given me some new blogs to go and see. Fabulous.

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  4. LOL! Phew- I am way outa shape. All that bending and stretching... yikes. And kudos to you! What powers with which to be bestowed! I'm ordering my T-shirt right now. "Soccer Mom." AH!! No, no, just kidding. Even though I have to sit through countless games (ugh) all year. Glory be, I'm the bitch mom who forgets to bring the orange slices to games. What's up with that snack thing anyway? Whatever happened to a plain ole bottle of water? My kids don't need oranges and cookies and crap after every game. God, suburbia sucks.
    Er, anyway, back to you, Nessa... Congratulations! I always look forward to your reads. ;)

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  5. I don't have a clue how to be in charge. I lay in bed at night, wondering WTF I've gotten myself into! Sad as it is to admit, I've realized a few times in the past few weeks that it's been 3 days since I took a shower. I do good to even make sure the kids are still alive and breathing some days. Though, I have to admit, being the one to make up laws that others would have to live by would have made my life so much easier!
    Loved the post, and completely agree on the T-shirt idea!

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  6. Light- coffee snorting is on my approved activity list. Carry on at your leisure.

    Jayne- I was only asked ONCE to bring the snacks. That was all it took for the Snack Gods to realize the error of their ways...

    Misfit- I wondered what that smell was....

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  7. Very funny post. Not sure where I stand on blog deleting, but I totally agree with you on ‘Suicide bombers. Give it a rest already. Selfish Jerks.’ – they need to just get over it. Thanks for leaving a comment at my blog last week.

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