Sunday, February 20, 2011

We have these fears.

I don't know how to feel about claiming my stories. I flip-flop back and forth with it. I crave the recognition. I want to be able to stand up, face to the sun and shout into the wind, "I have written this beautiful thing! Come praise me! I am worthy of your admiration!"
On the other hand, I enjoy idea of being able to stand back from my words and shrug one shoulder and say, "Well, it's only fiction. It's just a story. One of a billion stories, one of a billion big thing."
I understand now why so many writers have a pen name, and I've just about decided that, when I get the nerve to submit them, I too, will use a pen name.
I don't want to be analyzed by those who think they know me, or those who think they want to know me, or those who think they will know me only through my written words.
It's a terrible invasion of privacy to have a person stand two feet from me and relate me to a character I've written. It scares the hell out of me to know they can see me in there, not just in the heroine of my stories, but also in the creep lurking in the shadows, and the child who clings to a rag doll for protection, and in the teenager who wants nothing more than to escape on an adventure to Europe.
But then, it's my story, isn't it?


  1. Nessa - do you really think people personalize it like that? Yes, all fiction comes from a part of us, and we are influenced by so many varied things, but the stories stand on their own, they're your babies, your creation, but not your life. They have a life of their own.
    You seem so confident in your writing, it's raw and powerful stuff. Don't fear claiming it as yours. Imagine how proud your children would feel having Mom's name in print?!
    I don't know your background, if you've taken fiction workshops or the like, but it's a great place to start to share your pieces and get good feedback (both negative and positive--and it all good!).
    Claim it girl. Just do it. ;)

  2. Same here, I am way better at writing my life than writing fiction (which I don't know much about). But sometimes I have those fears you talked about, and more. It's quite a dilemma.

  3. When you're writing about your characters, you're really writing about yourself.
    Putting it out there, knowing people are reading it, judging it, that's tough.

    But, think of the people out there who will absolutely love it. Don't you want that recognition for creating something beautiful?

  4. hmmmm....I had put another comment in there somewhere, and it's lost now. Glitch?

    But thank you all for the feedback. It does make me wonder about myself and my insecurities and how truly silly they are.