Friday, October 1, 2010

Nessa's Rules for Safe Dreaming

  1. Never look in the mirror. It looks back.
  2. Doorways are escape passages. Should you find yourself once again in the path of the unseen monster with a viscious vibrating growl, turn to the door on your right. Do not choose left. Remember. Right is Right.
  3. If somebody touches you, embrace it.
  4. If somebody hurts you, the door to the left holds baseball bats, chainsaws, flamethrowers, etc.
  5. Your feet are not touching the earth. This does not mean you are flying.
  6. If you are flying, try not to think about it. Thinking leads to falling. Falling leads to wakefulness.
  7. Can't find your locker? Missed the bus again? Can't seem to get to work on time? Don't worry. Whatever it is you can't seem to accomplish, that back-stabbing bitch you hate already did it for you.
  8. If you hear music, go ahead and dance, but try not to drown.
  9. If you hear crying, do your best.
  10. From time to time, you will see the 'others'. Do not stare at them. Do not distract them. They have their own paths.
  11. Give no authority to the voice in your head.
  12. You are the best driver in the world. It is not your fault the brakes don't work. This is why we installed the parachute button. Carry on.
  13. Pushed to the edge? Jump, my friend. Don't forget to enjoy the view on the way down. It's the last thing you'll see before you...WAKE UP!

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