Thursday, September 12, 2013

Match the Symbols to Win the Prize

Matthew, Slave #4, moved out, yet again, and I am alone in the house.

Empty nest. (Empty refrigerator, empty closet, empty garage...)

No kids, no grandkids, no roommate, no lover. (Nobody to wash the dishes or mow the lawn either, 'cause you know I ain't doin' that shit.)

All alone (at long last). To celebrate, I hauled all the couch pillows out of the closet and put them back on the couches, just so, and there they have remained, because there are no hoards of teenagers moving things to the side to make room for popcorn and PS3s.

The place is a mess, and it's desperate for some attention, but my priorities are elsewhere. I'm supposed to be writing in my journal for my Creative Writing class. My Dystopian Lit professor wants us to be writing a chapter of "fan-fiction" for Orwell's Animal Farm. I need to read three chapters of U.S. Government, and I need to study for my Spanish test that is taking place today.

On top of that, I need to educate myself about the wonders of dry, aged, prime beef, because my job description may finally be changing at work. I heard a rumor that I might have to buy a knife. (They're going to let me play with the knives, people. Don't try to say you haven't been warned.)

Here's a dilemma. Yesterday, I found some trash on the floor at work. I slipped it into my pocket, because it wasn't nasty, just a slip of paper-like stuff that didn't belong on the floor. Hours later, at home, I pulled it out of my pocket and realized it was a winning scratch-off lottery ticket. FIFTY BUCKS.

 I called the manager to see if anybody had reported it to Lost and Found, but, to his knowledge nobody had. Now I'm stuck here with Bad Karma on my hands, knowing that some poor soul is out fifty bucks because I was too stupid to realize what it was when I saw it lying there on the floor. I need to find a place for it. I need to give it back out to the universe in the form of Good Karma, but I'm not quite sure how to go about it.

Should I give it all to one person? Or should I split it up into two, or maybe five little prizes for the first people I see today? Maybe I'll give it all to the clerk who cashes the ticket for me? Maybe I'll give it as a tip to a waitress somewhere? AUUGGHH!!! There are so many people who would truly benefit if they just had fifty extra bucks in their pocket. (I know the feeling. I used to be one of those people.)

Now I'm on the other side of that fifty bucks, and I have no idea how to behave.

It doesn't matter right now, though, because I have to study for that Spanish test...right after I mow the lawn.

Additional note: $20 to the clerk who cashed the ticket. (I didn't watch her expression. I just walked away.)
 $20 to the guy with a bucket on Bell Street collecting for Human Trafficking Prevention.$10 to St. Jude's Children's Hospital when I ate lunch at Chili's.


  1. A wonderful dilemma. I think a waitress. Good luck on the exams. Don't you hate that; what does luck have to do with it, unless the exam hits on exactly what you studied.

    Let us know.

    1. So far, I gave twenty dollars to the clerk who cashed my ticket.
      (I think I got an A on the test. Easy Peasy.)

  2. Fan fiction?!? I'm sorry. Personally, I'd have backfisted the professor for even suggesting it.

    And, should you find yourself unable to figure out what to do with that fifty, you can send it to...;p

    Maybe it's the universe's scooby snack to you for having the empty nest?

    1. I'm excited about writing the chapter. It's Orwell, after all.

      And my daughter's boyfriend suggested it might be good karma coning back to me, but I don't think that's how karma works.

  3. Get it in quarters and fill random parking meters or laundry mat dryers.


    Put it in a bottle and send it out to sea.

    And then there's always the obvious, use it to have a neighborhood kid mow the lawn for you.

    Good luck!

    1. You know, we don't have parking meters in Amarillo. (Though we should have them downtown, around the courthouses.)
      I think I'll leave the rest of it as a tip to a waitress.

  4. Study is more important than cleaning up the house, don't worry.

    We still have the kids in the house, but older boy is kind of in and out. Things changes when he moves away.

    But when someone or something goes out, there will be room for something new. Maybe you'll get a new lover >;)

    Cold As Heaven